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Theres some people in this world I dont understand. Maybe its a good thing I dont understand them, then theres a reason to hate them. Theres a lot of things I dont get either. Like when you want something so bad and you can have it. Even if you work for it its like you didn't work hard enough to earn it. Or when you want someone so bad you do anything just to be in their presence. Their the first thing you think about in the morning and the thing you drift off to sleep thinking about. What makes things worse you could never tell them how you feel because your afraid of messing up something that never happened. I hate having to sit back and watch the one person i love truly fuck up his life. I feel so helpless around him because i know theres nothing i can do to help him. Even if i tried he'd hate me for making it "better" for him.Its that kind of person no one likes because he's an asshole to everyone else but you. And you make it seem he's that way with you because he doesn't want anyone knowing he can be gentel and loving. You dont want to have feelings for him because you know you'll get hurt again if you wear you heart on your sleve again. But you do it anyway just to spend time with him on the weekends. No one can know you spend time with him. They'll jump to conclusions and start saying things about you and him. He'll get sick of societys shit and say he wants to see other people. A week later he'll try hooking up with a girl that will love him, but not as much as you can. You sit backand watch him be happy as you cry yourself to sleep every night. You just dream about your life without him. Eventually you'll think your better without him. Start saying you'll never love anyone again and become a cold heartless person on the inside. While on the outside you put on a show to make other people happy. You know your smile is fake but your so good at acting no one can tell.....its my life right? Then how come so many people live it?
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